30 New Years Eves

I was a brand new DJ 30 New Year's Eves ago and with the exception of 1984 and 1985 when I was a Christian missionary, I have DJ'd every New Years Eve since 1979.

I think I know a thing or two about the business of a social occasion but nobody listens to me. I was working at Pebble Creek Golf Club last night- a wealthy, high-end retirement community out on the west end of Phoenix. I was the youngest one there by about 20 years and I'm getting up there in years myself! There were a couple of women my age or maybe a bit younger in attendance, but it was clear that they were ummmm... how should I say this in mixed company... they were hired help-- if you know what I mean. Cocktails at 6:30, salad was at 7, entre' at 7:45, dessert at 8:15 and then at 8:30, the room was mine. You could feel the collective eyebrows rising and the heads and attention turning to me for some direction. Remember these people are 55 yrs plus- a bigger percentage of them were 65 yrs plus! I had to entertain these people for 3 1/2 hours until the obligatory count down and then they could kiss and go home. When they hired me back in February, I suggested that they have dinner at 8:30 or even more radical, leave the dinner service as is, and do a New York City count down at 10PM and call it a night.

I opened with Nat King Cole's "Unforgettable" and there was a sigh of relief- that maybe this young jock isn't an idiot after all. They spilled off the dance floor there was so many of them! I rocked the house but it was clear at 10:30, those poor people were spent. Lucky for my lightning fast reflexes and my cracker-jack coordination, I simply acknowledged the moment, called for a break and switched back to some background music for an hour. People still danced, but I couldn't let it appear that I was the one who had run out of gas. Even at my best, and when I have a crowd that can keep up with me, 3 1/2 hours is a long time to really burn hot as a DJ- except for in a club where you might have a different crowd every 90 minutes or so. I fired it back up at about 11:20 and double rocked the house and we ran right up to about 11:58 and invited everyone to gather on the dance floor with their noisemakers and their tantookas and their darlin's for the countdown. We counted it down, they kissed, they sang one verse of Guy Lombardo's "Auld Lang Syne" (Whatever that means...) then I played Kenny Rogers' "Through the Years" and they grabbed their coats and said their goodbyes and were gone at 12:05!

During the evening, I played one song from 1999, Lou Bega's "Mambo #5" I played one from 1997, Shania Twain's "Man, I feel like a woman" and one song from 1987, the B-52's "Love Shack" and I played Doobie Brothers' "Long Train Running" and Commodores' "Brick House" from '77ish and everything else was 1975 or earlier. I even played a couple of songs from the 1930's. We tangoed, we waltzed, we rhumbad-- and if that wasn't a word already, it is now. We rocked with some Three Dog Night, The Hollies and Bill Haley and the Comets. We swinged or swung I guess, we fox trotted and we cha-cha'd. I even played the greatest cha-cha song ever written, Elvis Presley's "It's Now or Never" That's right I said "Greatest" and I'll say it again too because I'm controversial, I'm like Geraldo!

New Years Eve has such a singular potential for happiness that it can't be wasted. Those who attend any New Years Eve festivities feel an enormous pressure to have a good time or the opportunity is wasted. Those who choose not to attend feel that others are having more fun than them and they can't allow that to happen either. Unfortunately, any unhappiness that anybody feels usually came with them to the event and will leave with them after the event. Those types of people should just be put in a room with a mannequin sitting at a chair up at the front and they can sit there and complain to the mannequin about every one's failures and all the times people let them down. Those who bring their own unhappiness can't be pleased anyway, the food was too salty, the room was too hot, cold, busy, dark, bright, etc. There is always something to complain about and I don't want to hear it. When I have 250 on the dance floor out of 350 in the room and somebody is complaining and asking "When are you gonna play something good?" Not only do they not have any credibility, but they just insulted my professional integrity. I usually try to be a diplomat, and simply ask if they had a specific song request because I'd be glad to oblige them but that I don't take complaints. I know who is signing my check- and it ain't you!

There was one lady who came up with a list of about 35 songs- over 2 hours worth of music- and she stated that THIS is what we like. I asked if there were 2 or 3 songs on the list that maybe she REALLY wanted. She insisted that she wanted them all and if I wanted to really connect, that I should play them. I apologized that I couldn't accommodate her. It's sad that there are some who are so out of touch with reality that they would presume that their tastes are so impeccable that they could just attempt to impose them on all! I'm a huge Styx fan, but their songs rarely get an airing even though I am in a position to impose my taste on everyone. I'd play "Babe" maybe at a late 70's or early 80's class reunion or I'll play "Too much time on my hands" in a classic rock set once in awhile but that's about it.

I did get several of genuine handshakes, high 5's and a few hugs and a few $20's as gratuities as people were filing out at 12:06. I knew they had a good time, I knew that I helped, sometimes they just needed to be shown how to have a good time- with me leading the way!